Anthony Davis will not be negotiating with his favorite NBA team. Here's why.


Photo: Chris Graythen (Getty)

As you probably already know, New Orleans Pelicans super star Anthony Davis called for an exchange. He wants to leave this abandoned organization to one that will give him the chance to play the championships. Pelicans can trade it by the deadline next Thursday, or they can wait until the end of the season – or, theoretically, they could keep it until their contract expires after the next season and lose it in free agency. They will almost certainly not do the third thing.

All NBA teams want to trade for Anthony Davis. There are only three or four players in the entire sport, whose teams would not trade them for Davis in the blink of an eye if the opportunity arose, if their teams were smart and if the pay math could be solved. But unfortunately, not all teams are smart, pay math does not always work out, and I'm sorry to say that your stupid team will not trade for Anthony Davis.

Why not? Let's take a look. That's why your idiotic team will not negotiate with Anthony Davis.

Washington Wizards

As a Wizards fan, one of the first things I felt (when I became capable of feelings but also) when I learned that Anthony Davis had asked for an exchange was: Shame. It would be great to have the mighty Davis on the embarrassing team that I'm twisting like a real ponytail. I'd split up with half my liver to make it happen.

But the poor, stupid Wizards are radioactive and not even their own players want to play for them. They are also crushed against the salary ceiling as if it were the large brick wall on which a cannon fired them. They also have very little (none) through the kind of talent pelicans would have to recover to feel good about trading the best player they have ever had. Even if someone in the New Orleans front office (admittedly too bad) was crazy enough to be like, "Sure, yeah, I've been tearing hot glue vapors all day and I've decided that we'll get Bradley Beal, Otto Porter, and what the hell, even John Wall, why not in exchange for the most talented basketball player and any other crap that does the math salary ceiling work "- even then, that will not happen.

Davis's only publicly stated target is that he wants to compete for championships on his next team, and I'm sorry to say that a Davis team, Thomas Bryant, Trevor Ariza, someone named Chasson Randle and Tomáš Satoranský will not be competing for a championship , even if you give them machine guns. As Davis can simply say "I will not sign an extension with your team eliminated, and in fact, I will throw myself into a ravine if you trade for me," he has the effective power to veto any negotiation. I feel confident that he would rather be traded directly to hell than to the Magi.

In a way, it's good to know that the Wizards literally do not have enough material to overpay for Davis. (No one does, but they do not.) Because if any team could do anything to regret and be ashamed for a decade later, a team led by Ernie Grunfeld would find a way. As it is, they'll probably fuck and swap half of their list for Ed Davis, instead.

Anyway, this blog is about trying to make everyone feel as bad as a Wizards fan today.

Atlanta Hawks, Indiana Pacers, Memphis Grizzlies, Orlando Magic, Toronto Raptors, Utah Jazz

One of the best scenes of the classic animated series Avatar: The Last Airbender comes at the end of his second season complex, ambitious and brilliant. The diabolical Princess of Fire Azula Nation infiltrated the capital of the Earth Kingdom, Ba Sing Se, and conspired with Long Feng, Machiavellian adviser and power behind the throne for the ornamental monarch of that realm. His plan is to overthrow the king and conquer the Earth Kingdom, although, of course, each of these demons intends to betray the other once this is accomplished.

Then their plan materializes and the king is deposed. In the throne room, Long Feng (voiced by the immortal Clancy Brown!) Springs his double-cross and commands his secret police to arrest Azula – but they do not move. Why not?

BLUE: It's because they did not make up their minds. They are waiting to see how this will end.

LONG FENG: What are you talking about?

BLUE: I can see all of your story in your eyes. You were born with nothing, so you had to fight and connive and grab your way to power. But True power, the divine right to rule, is something with which you were born. The fact is they do not know which of us will be sitting on that throne and which of us will bow. But I to know. AND you to know.

With this, Azula sits on the throne, looks at the poor, hard-faced Feng in the face, and says, "… well?" And after an anguished moment, Long Feng, who up to this point has been absolutely ruthless and relentless in his pursuit of power and control over the Earth Kingdom, realizes that on some fundamental level he believes what she is saying, and is approaching and kneels down.

LONG FENG: You defeated me at my own game.

BLUE: Do not be deceived! You were never even a player.

Milwaukee Bucks, Denver Nuggets

One of the problems in building a team with a transcendent young star and then a roster of good but limited support players deftly qualified in complementary roles is no matter how good your regular season performance in the playoffs you are probably doomed to be crushed by a team with a leaner list, but a greater number of genuine stars who can win clashes and kick lots of shit just by sheer force of talent. But other One of the problems with this type of cast is that when a genuine mega-star like Anthony Davis demands an exchange for a team that will contest championships, the only way to catch him is to send the player back with the skill he is betting on. that his team could compete for championships.

The Bucks with Giannis Antetokounmpo and Anthony Davis would be the best basketball team of all time. The Nuggets with Nikola Jokić and Anthony Davis, likewise, would be the best basketball team of all time. But those dreams can not come true, because no combination of the admirable actors surrounding any of these two MVP candidates, who are space aliens, can expect to lure the pelicans away from Anthony Davis. It's not only when they can wait until the summer and see who gets the first choice overall, or what the Boston Celtics can offer when Kyrie Irving's Rose Rule contract leaves the books.

There. I think you should have thought of that before setting up a very good, fun and fun team with legitimate ambitions in the Final, suckers !!!!

Los Angeles Clippers

All that I have just written, only without great stars or legitimate ambitions of the finals.

Houston Rockets

Basically everything I've written about the Bucks and Nuggets, only the Rockets are not nice and probably have no legitimate Finals ambition now that their whole game plan is just to hope that James Harden can score 70 points each night, and the Rockets with Harden and Anthony Davis would not be the coolest basketball team of all time.

Portland Trail Blazers

It's fun to imagine that Anthony Davis could be traded in a way that would effectively add him to the Blazers as they currently exist. Damian Lillard! C.J. McCollum! Jusuf Nurkić! And Anthony Frickin & Davis! He would not have to play downtown (he does not like to play downtown), and he and those wonder guards could do really cool stuff! This is one of the few teams that looks like it could become a genuine threat to the Warriors if they can somehow add Anthony Davis, the way the warriors got add Kevin Durant a few seasons ago.

Unfortunately, as I understand it, the Blazers would have to change their entire list, so they would borrow the Phoenix Suns list and Besides that change that whole list, to do the math work from the salary cap, here. This is boring.

Oklahoma City Thunder

All I just wrote about the Blazers, but with different pronouns.

incentive of St. Anthony

"We will send you Kryglfiv Slbndrytz, Borf Beanes, and the second round we can only use to find an effective professional player."

Brooklyn Networks, Charlotte Hornets, Chicago Buffalo, Cleveland Cavaliers, Phoenix Suns

Even if either team was able to raise Anthony Davis, that would not satisfy his desire to be negotiated with a team that would allow him to compete for championships.

Dallas Mavericks

I bet Mavs fans are like "We're the ones who sleep here! Who better pack a Dennis Smith Jr., Harrison Barnes and DeAndre Jordan? No one, that's who.

New York Knicks

I bet the Knicks fans are all like "Eyyyyy, we're in the fucking driver's seat here! Who can make bettah than Kevin Knox, Frank Ntilikina, the choice of the first round that probably will not get Zion Williamson, and Big fuckin & # 39; Apple? No one, who is Gabbagool.

Minnesota Timberwolves

The next star established with the ability to write your own ticket you choose to go to Minnesota will be the first! And it will not be Anthony Davis !!!!!!

Detroit Pistons

I wonder if the things they sent to bring Blake Griffin back would have been enough to score Anthony Davis. Probably not. I think we'll never know.

Miami Heat

I saw one thing yesterday that was like "The Heat can hit this sucker by offering Josh Richardson, Winslow Justise, Bam Adebayo, Goran Dragic, and his first-round draft pick!" Presumably leaving Anthony Davis to play Frickin's small forward in a truly insane lineup with, like, Hassan Whiteside, Kelly Olynyk, Tyler Johnson, Dion Waiters and no future. I am deeply into this idea, for reasons such as being a fan of a Southeast Division rival.

Philadelphia 76ers

Apparently, Davis has the same agent as Ben Simmons, who would be the obvious guy for the Sixers to offer, except that his mutual agent would not agree to one of his clients being banned for the vacant lot after Anthony Davis in New Orleans. just for the sake of appeasing another of your customers.

Here's a question. If Anthony Davis were a pie, what would be the pie size you could buy with Markelle Fultz, the first overall pick of the 2017 draft? (The answer is: you would not be allowed to enter the bakery.)

Sacramento Kings

Here's something totally insane and impossible-looking: in the abstract, the Kings can be one of the clubs that could offer the kind of thing a smart team would take back in exchange for their huge star that wants to be traded, and may even be able to offer these things without By consigning this star to a future, as the only decent player on a devastated escalation, with cheap veteran mercenaries on short-term contracts. They are full of frickin 'blue-chippers! Who has not been ruined yet !!!

Unfortunately, there is context that makes this impossible. On the one hand, pelicans have had trouble sustaining a with Davis, who was already extremely famous when they recruited him, widely lived the expectation that he would be a devouring space monster of the world in the NBA, and that reliably puts them on a handful of national TV broadcasts a year. all by himself. If they can choose between, say, the Boston Tatum, the weird and bad but equally famous young Los Angeles players, and literally any combination of the promising and exciting youngsters of Sacramento, they will tell the Kings to go to hell, because no one is leaving the arena to watch Marvin Maldin & Bagley. On the other hand, I bet Davis's agent would shoot him with a tranquilizer dart and send him to frozen Canadian north before he allowed him to accept an exchange for the Kings, an eternally dysfunctional franchise in a small media market that plays his games the middle of the night without anyone watching.

In conclusion, my colleague and friend Patrick Redford can go to hell.

Ok, the following teams may actually have some plausible hope of negotiating for Anthony Davis

Golden State Warriors

The warriors could definitely trade for Anthony Davis. I do not know how they could do this, I just know they could find a way, and maybe they can. I just want to know that I will bring the destruction of planet Earth if that happens.

Los Angeles Lakers

Basically, all the reports say that this is where Davis wants to go, even though he has not officially said so. ESPN's Adrian Wojnarowski says that this is the only place where Davis will sign a contract extension, and that the reason his agent made the request to the public now before the deadline was to give the Lakers an advantage over the Celtics, which are barred by the collective bargaining agreement from acquiring Davis until Kyrie Irving's contract expires in July.

That would be so easy for the Lakers if both Lonzo Ball and Brandon Ingram were not pure! If any of them had delivered the hype that watched their respective arrivals in the NBA, this would be an easy sale for all parties. Trade would have already happened. Davis would have made his request privately and the deal would have been made just as anyone could report what was happening, and we could all move forward to look forward to Davis and LeBron James ruining shit and choking the Rockets and possibly even throwing a Warriors. It's just a strange, drawn-out, public affair because Lonzo and Ingram shit and the pelicans do not want to trade for those bums when they can wait six awkward months and get the guy to work right behind Lonzo!

It is very possible that Davis simply does not have enough leverage to make it happen. The pelicans do not go into the playoffs anyway, so even if he threatened to pull a Kawhi Leonard and stay out the rest of the season if he was not a Laker on the trade deadline, that may not be unacceptable. price for the Pelicanos to pay if they take them to a place where they can trade for the first general choice – or where they can at least find out what they can extract from the Celtics. What I'm saying here is that if the Lakers fail Davis, if they miss the last chance, they'll have an even better LeBron pair at that good thing of a teammate, will be because Magic Johnson fell to the hype around a third guard with a broken broken heel whose father fooled everyone into believing that he was Steph Kidd.

Boston Celts

It could not be clearer that the central office in New Orleans wants to wait until July and exchange Davis for the best offer in Boston that the League members seem to agree to contain Tatum and Al Horford and a few other things, probably drafts or whatever. It also seems pretty clear that the Celtics would happily move out of Kyrie if it allowed them to be Davis, who is a lot better at basketball and who also tends not to be in the habit of being an aggressive, passive and aggressive weasel who uses the media to trash his own teammates for playing, widely, in the same way that he plays. If Davis is still a Pelican after the deadline of the negotiation, it seems everyone agrees that he will probably end up among the Tic Boys.

The funniest result, though, is whether, after years of business cycles in which Celtics honch Danny Ainge refused to do – and congratulated himself for refusing to make – the best available move, keeping his resources in reserve for long-term goals of the club, it turns out that the great move that he did doing, trading for Kyrie, ruled out the possibility of him making the infinitely better move to land Anthony Davis. That's why it's their solemn moral duty to hope the pelicans trade Davis to the Lakers, and for Kyrie to abandon the Celts next summer.

Is this going to happen? Who knows. I just wanted to spread bad vibes everywhere, and I believe I did it. This blog is over!


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