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Why do we keep repeating painful memories and do not want to give up?

Have you tried to delimit, delimit or otherwise indicate the exact boundaries of your person? What is the part of your self and which is your owner? Most people perceive their thoughts as part of their "I". But we are not our thoughts. We only act as observers in this relationship. That is why we will never have absolute control over them.

At the same time, thoughts are the most important thing that defines our view of the world. What thoughts are going on in your mind now also affect how you perceive yourself and the people around you. Thoughts also affect the excretion of various neurotransmitters in the brain, which affects our current mood.

searchThe team of psychiatrists concluded that the mention of happy events and the greater presence of positive thoughts increase serotonin activity in the prefrontal cortex. It also participates in the processing of emotional experiences.

Everyone sometimes feels under the dog and there is nothing unusual about it. Of course, however, you sometimes realize how much time you spend thinking about painful situations of the past or looking pessimistically for the present.

Why does this draw us to the evil one?

You always tend to repeat unpleasant and anxious situations in your life. Statistics say that up to 80% of all our thoughts are negative and 95% are constantly losing their minds. Negative patterns of thinking can have a profoundly destructive impact on our health, work, or relationships. Moreover, the more negative or negative the experience is, the more we return to it.

We are simply attracted to nature for what causes us pain and suffering, and it is very difficult to get rid of this bad habit. Why does it happen? What causes our magnetic attraction to negative thoughts? And how can we change this bad habit, which greatly undermines our daily lives?

Experts say that we are constantly coming back to our suffering because we want the negative experience to be different. With our mental reruns, we try to rewrite memory and create a new reality, more satisfying and beneficial.

Negative thinking

We have to stay with it for a while to better understand our pain and then be able to digest and resolve it. Because if we know the reasons and the reasons of who is the culprit, what really happened and how the situation can be resolved, we return to psychic homeostasis. Simply put, pain is so paradoxically performed to figure out how to get rid of it. Alternatively, if possible, how to resolve the situation.

Negative patterns of thinking can have a profoundly destructive impact on our health, work, or relationships. Of course, unpleasant emotions come with pain or any negative experience. Sadness, fear, anger or frustration are typical emotions to which we feel accustomed to thinking of unpleasant memories.

In response to feelings that we naturally do not want to be directly exposed, our minds take the autopilot and give us the better and more familiar direction, according to their algorithms, to think about the problem itself. In doing so, we try to avoid the direct feeling that flows from it.

Constantly thinking about hurting the experience also gives us the feeling that our pain is important and has a motive. When ignored early Pain, you can feel this way. experience with all its context and people involved, which is a very common experience.

So you guard with nails because it is part of your person. For example, if you have a fight with your girlfriend, you will stop having fun for a few days. However, during this time, you spend a lot of time thinking about and reproducing the conflict situation. You say what you might have said otherwise, or when you should be quiet.

You realize that if you did not say that and that phrase, the conflict would not happen. Even if the thinking about this problem is very exhausting, you have the feeling that if you let yourself swim, it will leave the person you love as well as all the memories associated with it.

Is suppression of negative thinking effective?

The answer to this question was found by Richard M. Wenzlaff and Daniel M. Wegner of the University of Texas with surprising results. Although conscious suppression of unwanted thoughts is considered a significant form of mind control, search It has shown that such an attitude toward ideas can be quite counterproductive. They focused on emotions, memory, and interpersonal processes as well as psychophysiological reactions.

One of the biggest mistakes we make is how we try to avoid negative thoughts and negative thoughts. We try to have absolute control over them, we try a variety of "guaranteed" ways, but the solution is not to avoid them.

Is about redirecting your attention to other new and unrecognized thingsit makes our thinking join something new. We lack a lack of awareness and interest in something new.


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Why do we constantly repeat our painful memories in our heads and do not want to give them up?

Self-destructive beliefs

Self-destructive beliefs are a very important phenomenon in the context of negative thinking, which largely determines the appearance and form of such thought patterns. Thus, a system of values, opinions and personal attitudes.

For example, if your value is determined exclusively by your favorite team, you will feel filled only when you have many friends and feel interest in your person. Equally devastating can be self-esteem determined by success and failure. "If I can not do this and do not want anything." Similar formulations from time to time flood the mind of each of us.

How our thoughts help us write our story

Experiencing painful memories is so deeply attached to our sense of identity. We also perceive the celebration of our unpleasant experiences as a way of constantly telling a personal life story, who I am and what I have survived.

This fact leaves us deeply connected to our suffering. Figuratively speaking, somehow we like our pain. As a result of all these things, we are reluctant to give up negative thoughts, although recurring repetitions are no longer useful to us and have no benefit. In many cases, we think that if we did and let it happen, we would lose touch with our true self, with what makes us.

On the existential level, thinking of unpleasant experiences helps us to feel the so-called. "Jástvo", that is, the feeling that we exist. In fact, when we think of a problem, its causes, consequences or solutions, we feel like a separate US.

It simply gives us a much greater sense of being we perceive ourselves essentially as our mind, that is, JA = my mind, my thoughts, which is far from being so true. Through the process of thinking, we perceive our existence and ourselves. Giving up such thoughts would put your existential feeling at risk.

Our dependence on negative thoughts is somehow driven by our desire to feel better. Yes, it is a very irrelevant way of thinking. The result, then, is exactly the opposite. The more we neglect our experiences, the more we suffer from what we really need.

Like our ladder of value, thought patterns change over the years, build and worse, they are in the back of our heads. So how can we fight against this natural dependence? He just wants to apply some methods that can facilitate the unpleasant period or harmful thought cycles.

Negative thinking

I know

The basic step in the fight against any compulsive behavior or obsessive thoughts is to perceive it. Start to notice the moments when you start ignoring the whole world being black and white. Or maybe you're just starting to stir up the fight you're failing in your head again. Try to realize when your mind is calm and when you just touch painful memories.

Be active

Yes, we all know well, when we feel sadness or anxiety we prefer to close ourselves in the room because we are not in the mood for anyone and nothing. But that is a mistake. By doing this, you do not give your brain enough stimuli that we could also call distraction, and so the same stories are still spinning in your mind.

Therefore, employ your mind. Exercise, take a book, try to meditate, or call a friend you have not seen for a long time. In society or in any activity, you will find new ideas much easier.


When you suddenly realize that you are in your negative story again, stop for a while and confess that you are truly up to your ears. Say it aloud, it will be easier. In any case, be honest with the other and admit that you feel helpless or stuck to your negative story so you can move on.

Search Answers

Ask your mind what awaits your goal, why is it constantly coming back to a certain story? Is there a constant hearing of the story in your mind the way she wants to come to terms with it? Maybe it feels weird to feel so good after such a painful experience? Does this story remind you?

Just be interested in the intentions of your mind. Do you constantly rub the same thing well? The next time you go back to your painful story, you may remember that more thinking about it does not work and does nothing.

Say a loud "stop"

Simply say "no" or "stop" in your mind. Just like you do in everyday life for anyone in your neighborhood, try telling your mind to try to stop this harmful behavior.

Ask yourself what happens if you give up your pain? As they say, time is the best medicine. If you loved a loved one or just quarrel with someone you love, you need to be patient and wait for time to figure it all out. And if you have a problem with the pessimistic overview of life, try using some of the tips that are scattered throughout the article.

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