I'm a manic of order. It is not a pose or a way of speaking. I've been like this ever since I remembered. If you walk into my office without me and move a pencil two inches, I'll know you moved it. This is the level. Well, I come to tell you not to believe everything Marie Kondo tells you.
If you do not know who Marie Kondo is, continue reading. If you already know or are a fan of the program, you can skip the paragraph. Then a brief summary to update itself. For a week social networks are full of comments about a new reality debut on Netflix titled To ask with Marie Kondo! (Tidyng Up with Marie Kondo). In the program, a specialist consultant in order and organization named Marie Kondo comes to the aid of a family with serious problems of order. It's a bit like Extreme Makeover: total rebuilding but focused only on the order of the house. Not in the renovations.
You should see To ask with Marie Kondo!? This question will solve you quickly: Yes. It's a fun program and you learn a few things about order. Of course, if you are one of those who raises eyebrows when you see absurdly happy people, you bother with inspiring content with less scientific basis than a terraplanist congress or you are very sensitive to the embarrassment of others, this program is not for you .
Order, disorder and coexistence
Something told me that the Marie Kondo program I would not like, and after seeing several chapters my suspicions were confirmed. Go ahead I have no problem with it, or with her method, which seems very rational. Miss Kondo not only exudes sympathy and love, but what she says about ordering things makes sense. I agree with what (learn to rule is good), but not on how, why or with whom. Let's go with the first point.
I said above that I am a maniac of order. Explained more briefly means that I choose a place to keep one thing and always put it in the same place damn snow, rain, glare or fall of a nuclear bomb. Besides, I am obsessive with the visual order of things, their position in space. I can get a more or less messy drawer as long as I find what I'm looking for, but move something on a shelf and you'll see them with me. Everything is in place for a reason in my head. In that sense, the Kondo method of sort ordering looks great to me. This is what I came naturally.
When I lived alone, it meant that my house looked like the cover of a decorative magazine. Fortunately for my mental stability, I do not live alone anymore. I live with my wife, my 3 year old daughter and a nephew who is studying German. My wife is beautiful, but she does not suffer from dizziness if she sees a distorted image. In short, he's a mentally healthier person than I am. The nephew is well organized to be a teenager. My daughter, like all three-year-old humans, is an inexhaustible generator of chaos and disorder. As a result of this combination, my house is sometimes tidy, sometimes it is not so and sometimes it is a disaster. For my criteria, it is a permanent disaster.
And I do not care.
I do not care because I forced myself with great work to give myself the same and on the way I discovered that clutter is necessary as well. From time to time, it is good to delight in chaos, just as sooner or later it is good to delight in the very act of ordering. On the other hand, imposing my obsessive order on other people would in most cases make life impossible for them. You have to reach a point of consensus and relax.
Disorder is not a problem, it is the symptom of a problem
Second point of serious dissension with good Marie: Why order. Marie Kondo's show, like a good reality show, postulates that ordering things in your life will make your life better. Well look, no. In time, I learned that order and disorder are not the cause of anything. They are a symptom, such as fever. Lower the fever and you will have lowered the fever. You will feel better but it will not have cured the infection that caused it. The order in the house is just a reflection of our mood at every moment. A depressed person will not be cured of their depression by ordering the house. At best, she will stay busy and have a temporary purpose and the feeling that she is regaining control of her life. This is all good, but it is not enough.
If you do not have time to ask, your problem is not that you are confused, it is that you do not have the time, and the solution is to reflect on what you spend your time and expand the part dedicated to order. If you think that ordering things is not fun to spend time, you have a serious attitude problem. This is one of the few things I agree with Marie Kondo. Sorting is a pleasure equivalent to sitting in a Zen garden and combing the stones around you. It is a relaxing and very mechanical activity that provides time for thinking. It is also a very productive activity and can also be fun if you to consider as a review of your memories or how to find treasures that you do not remember reincorporating them into your life.
What I no longer agree with Miss Kondo is that you have to throw away what does not make you happy. In which I have experience, because I am a throwing machine. If I have not used it in a year, I play it. If it's on the floor, I'll play. If you're more than a week away from your site, chances are you'll throw it away. My permanent obsession is to optimize time, and anything that makes me lose time is an obstacle, so I play outside. I play everything.
Playing what does not make you happy is a mistake
The problem with the idea of "throwing away what does not make you happy" is that, by definition, what makes you happy today can no longer make you happy tomorrow and vice versa. What you do not need today, tomorrow you may need. This applies to everything from the pen of a hotel to things as visceral as the object of a deceased relative or an ex you hate. When your mind overcomes loss, you probably want that object to have a memory of that facet of your life, though it now hurts just to see it. To say that you have to throw away what does not make you happy is such an idiotically toxic idea that would make Paulo Coelho himself (which I hate) get very pale of envy.
I lost count of the times I cried for throwing an object that once bothered me in the closet or made me sad. The clothes you do not wear this year might be in style next year and I would kill to retrieve the leather jacket I wore at university, but I donated because it was not fashionable. I'm an idiot.
Our brain, our own intelligence, operates based on memories and memories. It is the reason why we perceive time linearly (before and after a remembrance) and that is what makes us wise. To pull is to forget, to forget is to ignore and to ignore is the ideal terrain to make wrong decisions. There are superfluous things that occupy space and are worth pulling, but do not voluntarily choose to be ignorant, and "makes you happy" is the worst criterion that has ever existed to make a decision regarding the internal order. VACUUM DOES NOT MAKE ME HAPPY, MARIE. An egg prevents me from seeing it. I hate him, but I need to not eat my shit, you know?
The underlying problem is that we have many things because we buy many things we do not need. We often spend a lot of money to buy small things that we can only afford because we are satisfied with the act of buying instead of reserving this money to buy a mobile in which to put it. In this sense, To ask with Marie Kondo! does not solve the disease, only reduces fever.
With the theme of being with only thirty books I do not even go in. I just do not agree. Attached picture of my modest library. Take a single book from her and you're dead. Of course, from time to time, I'm looking for bad books to throw them away. Bad, not old.
These people do not need a guru, they need a therapist.
We arrived at the "with whom". I have one last very serious problem with To ask with Marie Kondo! ANDIt's the same problem I have with Supernanny, The Dog Whisperer or My Cat From Hell. All of these realities start from a supposed problem with a child, a dog or a cat, and take off a guru with almost magical powers that educates the beast of the day, but that is not the case.
In Supernanny, the problem is not the child. They are always parents. The child's attitude alone is a consequence of how terrible his parents are as educators. The dogs of The Whisperer Dog They are never the problem. It is their owners who have neither the discipline nor the education to control them, and the same with the cats of My hell cat. In To ask with Marie Kondo! the problem is not the house or the lack of space, technique or time. Are the people.
I really like the people who advocate the Kondo program saying they love "Organizational Porn". This is a lie!
To ask with Marie Kondo! it is not organization porn. Would be organization porn If Marie came into a house made a mess and set out to arrange it alone in complete silence, without speaking to anyone and no one explaining why the house ended like this. To ask with Marie Kondo! is Misery pornography or, if you prefer a more authentic term: shame of others.
It's the same kind of Misery pornography of programs such as My strange addiction. What makes you see the program is to think that there are people far more sown and disorganized than you, and this has far more serious problems than you. As Agent Smith said, "humans as a species define their reality through misery and suffering." In other words, we measure our own happiness based on the unhappiness of others, and there is nothing more comforting for a person who considers himself a disaster than seeing another who is more than that.
If we join the inspiring message of improvement, "you can" and the "throw away what makes you happy" message, we have the perfect match for audience success. Marie Kondo is just a skilful communicator who turned gold into such an infantile society that we need a good little Japanese to tell us that the sock drawer is a mess. The great paradox of Marie Kondo is that if I had to keep only thirty books, none of them would be his.