Deciding to get divorced or stay married is a difficult choice. Even celebrities find it difficult to make a decision when it comes to matters of the heart. An example is the actor Terrence Howard, who recently proposed his ex-wife Mira Pak. When Should You Consider A Divorce? If you're already divorced, does it make sense to remarry? If you are thinking of a divorce, are there cases where you should take a step back and think twice?
Folha Cheat spoke with Dr. Monika Kreinberg, a licensed therapist for marriage and family. See what Kreinberg had to say.
The fraud sheet: In which situations should you reconsider divorce?
Monika KreinbergNowadays, getting a divorce is easier than getting married. First, I would say that people need to try to reconcile and try to make things work. That being said, they may not be able to do this alone. Seeing a therapist is advised, a person who can offer some perspective.
I recommend getting a divorce when there is disrespect and any kind of physical or mental abuse in the long run. Yes, people can heal from it, but they also need time to heal themselves. It is very unlikely that the partner will change in a few months. I also think if there are ongoing issues of a partner and this is not something that is agreed upon by the other partner then the divorce is recommended. The cheating partner is unlikely to change unless there is a major crisis in the relationship.
CS: If you decide to stay, what are some basic rules that you should define for the relationship going forward?
MK: It is important to get outside help. Couples therapy can be very beneficial. It illuminates the couple and allows them to understand each other's responsibility in the relationship. It also reveals why people react the way they do and often may not be directly linked to the partner, but to childhood.
CS: What do some do and do not do when it comes to reconciliation after almost getting divorced?
MK: Take time to listen and make sure your partner is really telling you. Do not wait for someone to change, change must come from you first. Do not wait too long. Focus on the positives and small differences. Think about why you fell in love with the person in the first place. To forgive; everyone makes mistakes. Build your sense of identity. Only when you are true to yourself can you be the best version of you with another person.
CS: What are some clear signs that you should proceed to divorce?
MKViolence Any type of violence should be grounds for divorce. Other reasons:
- When there is no respect for the other person or what the other person thinks.
- When you're in love with someone else.
- When you expect the other person to become someone you are not.
CS: Anything to add?
MK: Relationships are difficult. They take work and patience. Do not give up at the first sign of unhappiness. Remember that each person carries their past with them. If you do not work with these skeletons in the closet, they will always follow you.
See More Information: 10 Signs That You Definitely Need To Get A Divorce
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