Monday , October 25 2021

“I can’t imagine my life without it”



Five years ago Sébastien fell in love with a woman he left everything for. Their relationship was damaged by alcohol addiction. After another relapse, his partner ended the relationship. Sébastien says he cannot imagine his life without her, but he is aware that he has lost the confidence of the woman he loves. Using Olivier Delacroix’s microphone, in Europe’s “La Libre antenna” 1, Sébastien tells how alcohol addiction spoiled his love relationship.

“I moved to eastern France five years ago. I was married and had two children at the time. In the course of my work, I met someone with whom I am hopelessly in love. She is a person with whom I left everything. It is the best story of my life. During those years, alcohol problems punctuated my life. I didn’t drink alcohol every day. I could go months without drinking a drop of alcohol, but sometimes when I wasn’t well, used as a painkiller.

One of the causes that led me to drink was anxiety

This necessarily damaged my relationship. I can understand that for the other it is something that is scary. There were several separations and then we got back together. One day it was getting better, we decided to live together. It’s been wonderful After three months, I had a relapse. My dear decided to expel me and call my family to come and pick me up. It was the trigger, I decided to make a cure, something I should have done a long time ago. I took care of things I had never taken care of before.

After a few months, we returned to live in separate apartments. She no longer wanted us to live together. She has a daughter and feared for her. Before Covid, I decided to stop my antidepressant treatment overnight, thinking I was better. Restraint came with its share of anguish. One of the causes that led me to drink was anxiety. I had a relapse. Unable to find me, my partner called the police. The police found me at home very badly. She said to me, “This is too much, we stopped.”

I can’t get this girl out of my head

Today, the situation is this. I can’t get this girl out of my head. She is the woman of my life. She tells me that she still loves me, but that she doesn’t know if she will be able to overcome this fear that I will do it again. For a long time, she believed that I was choosing alcohol over love, when it was something independent. It never affected my love for her. I am unhappy because I love someone who said to me, “Don’t wait for me, make your life.” I always tell him that I will wait because I only have her in mind.

During the confinement, she decided to buy her apartment in the countryside. I was weird because I thought that one day we would do this together. She is concerned with trusting men in general. She told me that I was the first one she trusted. During this weekend blackout, she saw that I had been on acompanion. It hurt him. She tells me that part of the trust is gone.

It becomes sickly. When I wake up in the morning, I check to see if she hasn’t sent me a message. I can’t imagine my life without it. I know that we cannot redo the past. I want to use those past difficulties to move on, but she has a block. I wonder if I should keep going. It is independent in nature. She often tells me that she could very well conceive of a life as a couple living at home, while my biggest dream is to make my life with her. “

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