Because I am small and Asian, I am fetishized by some white men



This is not unusual. I spent most of my adult life spending psychological and emotional energy pushing men like him. And do not tell me you can not help who you're attracted to.

"Yellow Fever" is not a preference. It's a racial bias.

I have a small body. I have an Asian face. Women like me are handcuffed to a double bond. We have to fight the men who infantilize us because of our little bodies, and who also believe that the Asian face carries a special gene that makes us speechless, gentle and uncontrollable.

This is both oppressive and racist.

I remain amazed at the number of white men who still see me and immediately assume that I am "submissive, docile, complacent, complacent, sweet in the kitchen, tiger in the bedroom."

My body is seen as a literal and symbolic website on which to build your fantasies of the perfect Asian lover.

The pernicious perception that most Asian girls have small, childish bodies is not necessarily false. What frightenes us is the ease with which these men reinforce their narratives about us.

It is a painful impudence, not a compliment. These guys expect something from us and us, based on their myth about what an Asian woman is, and when we do not meet those expectations, they have the power to hurt us so easily.

Equally painful is the extent to which the narrow representations of Asian women in the West have created the idea in the minds of these men that because of our perceived submission they may have a sense of ownership and possession of us.

I recently joined in my 30 years. I had a long and complicated history with white men who found me attractive, though I never quite understood the underlying drivers of their attraction for Asian women, themselves, to women of other racial backgrounds.

Sometimes I feel that I met a person who loved my body as the bearer of the inner person, only to realize that for him my body was simply a fetish and a curiosity.

My body is seen as a literal and symbolic website on which to build your fantasies of the perfect Asian lover.

With each new romantic partner, I have to make the same anxious assessment: Are you interested in me because of who I am, or because of the shadow of my skin and the Asian face I'm wearing? I'm never sure how to respond.

Under what is projected on me, is my relationship with my Asian heritage; I have to fight against Taiwan's cultural indoctrination that being selfless and selfless is the best way to be for a woman.


I found these men willing to confront their own prejudices and prejudices. They operate under a system of racial stratification (themselves as superior), letting Asian women take on the disproportionate burden of meeting, resisting, or negotiating their stereotypes.

I wonder if I will spend my life in this country upending stereotypes. It is not my job, or the work of other Asian women, to do this.

These men should examine their so-called "preferences" and work to change unfair and false racist perceptions. I'm not here for your education, sexual or not.

I blocked the man who sent me the aggressive text based on race when I rejected him. I hope he looks into and confronts his prejudices. Only then will women of Asian descent be respected as much as we should and treated as whole human beings – not accessories that incorporate derogatory fantasies.


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