The & quot; Prepuce facial & # 39; marks the end of the world? | fashion


Name: The facial foreskin.

It was: At least one week old.

Appearance: A cloned serum of the circumcised prepubescent of South Korean babies.

Quick question: Is this the end of the world? Not at all. It is perfectly normal to want the liquefied foreskins of several babies to be rubbed all over your face.

Are you sure? Because it sounds exactly like something that would happen before or on after the collapse of civilization. Do not be silly. Kate Beckinsale did this. She seems like a good normal person, right?

The same Kate Beckinsale who dress like a pantomime horse? That's right.

I'll hate myself for it, but you can explain or the foreskin? Of course! Epidermal growth factor (EGF) serum is derived from human fibroblast progenitor cells taken from the prepubescent of newborns.

And what does he do? Glad you asked. It helps to generate collagen and elastin, which can help increase the brightness of your face. Sidenote fun: it also smells just like sperm!

Well, sign me up. Wait, there's more. For the serum to take care of, a beauty therapist must first microneedle you.

I do not know what this is. Ah, it's fun. It is where a pen containing dozens of tiny needles repeatedly staggers it hundreds of thousands of times. It's terribly painful, but it helps the baby's foreskins sink into his face.

Seriously, where do I sign? Ah – bad news. According to several reports, there is a two-year waiting list for the foreskin facial treatment. In addition, a single treatment costs about £ 500.

Best to leave to the likes of Beckinsale, then. If this helps, she is thrilled with the treatment. She recently capped a close-up of her immaculate face: "After a long flight, I like to lie down and be covered by a mask of liquidated cloned foreskins – frankly, who does not?"

did Do your followers agree? It depends. Comments like "Disgusting", "Are you disgusting" and "I used to like you" qualify as an agreement?

I mean, she probably had the worst reviews for some of the underworld movies. Either way, it's not something anyone should worry about. Cate Blanchett and Sandra Bullock are also supposed to be fans.

How good is that? This means that the treatment will eventually reach our level. Soon all of us will be able to buy liquefied foreskins from Superdrug, you mark my words.

Say it: "EGF therapy is the mandatory treatment of 2018."

Do not say: "You are as old as the baby foreskins harvested that you rub on your face in an attempt to avoid signs of your inevitable death."


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